Snarkvark @ PoliSnark.comAlright, let’s break this down. Colorado’s new cellphone law cracking down on distracted driving is one of those regulations we’d typically hate. But you know what? This one makes sense. Why? Because people behind the wheel need to stop being selfish assholes and focus on driving. Every day, we’re dodging idiots checking Instagram or crushing candy at 65 mph, and it’s killing people. This is about saving lives, not some nanny-state overreach.
According to the Colorado Department of Transportation, distracted driving caused over 15,000 crashes last year alone. The statistics are clear—this isn’t just a minor annoyance; it’s a public safety issue. And let’s be honest: it’s not hard to connect your damn phone to Bluetooth. Almost every car built in the last decade has it. No one is asking you to give up your Spotify playlist—just keep your hands off your phone and your eyes on the road, like a functioning adult.
Look, we aren’t fans of piling on more government regulations—most of the time it just leads to higher fines, more bureaucracy, and more cops pulling people over for petty infractions. But this one? It’s justified. The jackass scrolling TikTok at a red light isn’t just annoying—he’s a real danger to everyone else on the road. You see it all the time—lane drifters, last-second swervers, or asshats parked at green lights because they just had to see that meme. And if it’s not you who suffers the consequences, it’s an innocent driver, a biker, or a pedestrian who didn’t sign up to be part of someone’s personal texting spree.
The law basically says: Hands off the phone unless it’s voice-activated or connected via Bluetooth. That’s it. And for those of you whining about needing to text, here’s an idea: Park your car. Texting while driving isn’t multitasking—it’s a recipe for manslaughter.
The real kicker? Colorado’s distracted driving law comes with fines starting at $300, and you know what? Good. Maybe a dent in the wallet will remind people to behave like grown-ups behind the wheel. And if you’re one of those people who thinks they can “glance” at a text while speeding down I-25—newsflash: you can’t. No text or social media post is worth someone’s life.
So, while we’re usually all for freedom from excessive government interference, this law isn’t about control—it’s about basic fucking safety. If you need a law to tell you not to browse your fantasy football team mid-commute, then you’re exactly why this legislation exists. Quit being part of the problem. Keep your damn phone off your lap and your head in the game, or stay the hell off the road.
