Snarkvark @ PoliSnark.comDon’t mind me, I’m just raging about this article in Colorado Politics titled, Democrats outshine Republicans in Colorado’s 3rd quarter congressional fundraising race. It’s a “top story,” dontchaknow.
Alright, let’s lay it out: Colorado Democrats just slapped the GOP across the face with their fundraising dicks. Caraveo hauled in over $2 million, more than double her Republican opponent Gabe Evans, who’s limping into the final stretch with his sad little $985k. Meanwhile, Lauren Boebert—queen of controversy—is getting out-raised by Trisha Calvarese, who stuffed nearly $2.7 million into her war chest while Boebert barely cleared half a mil. Boebert’s usual schtick of owning libs and slinging zingers? Not exactly paying off like it used to.
The Republicans look about as organized as a yard sale on meth. Jeff Hurd managed a respectable million bucks in the 3rd District but still can’t touch Adam Frisch, who’s rolling into election day with a fat $2 million cushion. This isn’t just a loss—it’s a goddamn fundraising massacre, and the GOP better pray to Reagan that angry yard signs and Fox News rants can carry them through, because at this rate, the Dems are about to buy every billboard from Aurora to Aspen.
And for a party that loves to shit on socialism, the GOP sure is starving for donations. If capitalism is working, they ain’t donating to candidates who will defend it. Republicans would far rather argue with each other and strive to be “right” then they would actually win a damn seat. And their wallets – super-glued to their tight, white asses. Even Boebert’s PAC contributions are basically spare change. If the Republicans don’t pull their heads out of their asses, they’ll be begging for Venmo tips while Democrats spend their way into flipping more red seats. Looks like the only thing “conservative” about the GOP these days is their bank accounts.
