Snarkvark @ PoliSnark.comI gotta comment on THIS ARTICLE from Colorado Politics titled, Debate on Proposition 131, Colorado’s ranked-choice voting measure, to be held at Denver University. Wow, a debate. I just got tingly and moist.
Let’s dive into this clusterfuck anyway because I don’t need the article in front of me to roast Proposition 131 and the absolute circus that is ranked choice voting. First off, ranked choice voting is a hot, steaming mess—like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube while drunk. It overcomplicates elections, confuses the hell out of voters, and ultimately hands control to the political elites and billionaires who would love nothing more than to nudge the masses toward their preferred candidates. If you think your vote mattered before, wait until it’s filtered through a dozen calculations and spreadsheets to figure out who actually won. Spoiler alert: it won’t be the candidate you wanted.
You know who really benefits from this shit? The ultra-wealthy assholes funding this proposal. They’re sitting in their ski chalets and penthouses, salivating over the idea of reprogramming democracy to fit their agenda. “Trust us,” they say, “ranked choice voting empowers you!” Right, like we should trust the same assholes trying to tell us what light bulbs to buy, what cars to drive, and now, how to fucking vote. It’s like they saw the chaos in places that adopted ranked choice voting (looking at you, New York City) and thought, Hey, let’s bring this shitstorm to Colorado!
Here’s the thing: If Dave Williams hadn’t royally fucked up the Colorado GOP, we wouldn’t even be debating this nonsense. The Republicans are in such disarray that the Dems and their billionaire backers are now trying to lock in ranked choice voting to cement their dominance. This isn’t about “empowering” voters—it’s about rigging the game before the next election season. Democrats are licking their lips at the idea of splitting conservative votes between moderates and extremists, ensuring their candidate strolls into office while the right implodes. It’s like handing a self-loading shotgun to a circular firing squad.
Ranked choice voting also relies on voters being 100% tuned in to every race, understanding how to rank candidates like they’re curating a Spotify playlist. Hate to break it to the starry-eyed do-gooders, but most people barely know who they’re voting for in the first place. Now you want to make them rank multiple options? You’ll end up with voters ranking “that guy from the yard sign” as #2 just to fill in the boxes. You think spoiled ballots are a problem now? Wait till this nonsense goes live—it’ll be a fucking ballot bonfire.
And the cherry on top? The GOP is so far up its own ass arguing over who’s “not conservative enough” that they can’t even come together to fight this. Hell, with Williams at the helm, they’d probably need ranked choice just to pick which talking point to botch next. Instead of focusing on winning elections, they’re busy gatekeeping and alienating half their base. Jesus, Republicans, pull your shit together.
So here we are, Colorado—debating a voting system that nobody asked for and definitely nobody needs. Ranked choice voting might look shiny on paper, but in practice, it’s a shit show designed by rich people to rig the system and screw with democracy. If this passes, don’t come crying when your preferred candidate gets tossed out in some math equation that would make your high school algebra teacher blush.
