Joe, Barack, and Slick Willie go to a funeral

I'm Snarkvark: born in the land of legal weed, raised on sarcasm, and now drowning in traffic, overpriced tacos, and tech bros named Trevor. Colorado used to be cool—now it’s a flaming bag of dogshit, complete with clogged trails, ballot initiatives nobody asked for, and governance so stupid it makes a **drum circle** seem logical. The GOP? Lost in the woods without a flashlight. The Dems? Treating the state like a progressive playground while setting tax dollars on fire. Don’t like it? Tough. I’m here to roast this whole clusterfuck until we remember that politics is supposed to be about results, not feelings.