Snarkvark @ PoliSnark.comWell, here we go again, folks. Biden’s back at it, trying to forgive student loans like Oprah giving out cars—only instead of a free ride, it’s a massive slap in the face to anyone who plays by the rules. Despite the Supreme Court striking down his earlier student debt cancellation plan, Sleepy Joe just announced another $7.4 billion in student loan forgiveness for 277,000 borrowers. Timing’s everything, right? Conveniently dropped just ahead of the 2024 election, like a bouquet of taxpayer-funded roses tossed to buy some last-minute votes.
What’s this latest excuse? Biden claims that these borrowers have been toiling under Income-Driven Repayment (IDR) plans or the shiny new SAVE plan and “earned” forgiveness after 10 to 20 years of payments. If that sounds fair, I’ve got a bridge to sell you. It’s not really “earned” if it gets erased just because Uncle Sam says, “Don’t worry about it.” The administration boasts about making loans more affordable, with 4.5 million borrowers paying zero each month. Yeah, zero dollars—a real grind, right? Who knew “affordable” meant someone else pays your bills?
The White House insists that this move is just Biden “using every path available” to cancel debt. Translation: legal loopholes and executive overreach until the courts tell him to knock it off—again. And don’t be fooled by the rhetoric about helping teachers, cops, and nurses. They threw those public service workers into the mix to tug on your heartstrings, but most of this relief applies to anyone who can game the system under these repayment plans.
For those of us busting our asses to make mortgage payments, raise families, and, oh yeah, pay our own damn loans, this is a bitter pill. We get to foot the bill for people who borrowed money they couldn’t—or wouldn’t—repay. How heartwarming. Meanwhile, the government’s now approved $153 billion in total debt cancellation so far, promising even more relief under new plans. I swear, by the end of this administration, the only people still paying their student loans will be the suckers who actually thought responsibility was still a thing.
Of course, Biden and his cheerleaders will tell you that this is about boosting the economy, improving mental health, and giving people a chance at homeownership and entrepreneurship. But here’s the rub: how does it boost the economy when the burden just shifts from borrowers to taxpayers? Your paycheck might as well come with a line item that says “Donation to Lazy Freddie’s Master’s in Gender Studies.”
Listen, the courts didn’t kill his first plan for shits and giggles—they struck it down because it was unlawful. But Biden’s solution? Keep pushing forgiveness piecemeal, hoping the legal system won’t catch up until after Election Day. It’s the political equivalent of leaving your wallet at a bar after drinking top-shelf whiskey all night—and expecting the other patrons to cover your tab.
And for what? To prop up a president whose approval ratings are circling the drain faster than the dollar store toilet paper he calls an economic policy. This is campaign bribery wrapped up in feel-good language about “relief,” and it reeks worse than a month-old fish sandwich. If we don’t start holding politicians accountable, the only debt left in this country will be a moral one.
