Snarkvark @ PoliSnark.comAlright, buckle up, folks, because Prop 127 is the brainchild of Boulder elites who’ve never met a predator they didn’t want to “protect”—as long as it’s someone else’s dog that gets eaten. This mess reeks of Marlin Reis (Governor Polis’s partner) and his crew of out-of-touch urbanites trying to play environmental saviors from the comfort of their Starbucks sofas. It’s pure fantasy wrapped in smugness, and it’s going to blow up spectacularly.
They want to ban the hunting of mountain lions, lynxes, and bobcats—you know, the predators that need management to prevent chaos. These animals aren’t just out there frolicking majestically through the forests. When their prey dwindles (as it always does when hunting isn’t regulated), guess what? They come down from the mountains and start making dinner reservations in your backyard. First, Fluffy the housecat goes missing, then it’s Fido, and pretty soon, your kid looks like an appetizer. But hey, Marlin and his pals will be so proud of themselves. At least the mountain lions are happy, right?
This proposal is a bad joke. And the fact that Colorado Parks and Wildlife (CPW) is divided over it should tell you everything you need to know. The folks at CPW who support this disaster are either spineless yes-men or terrified of losing their cushy government gigs. If they don’t suck up to the governor’s office, they know their careers are toast. Polis will bounce anyone who dares challenge Marlin’s vision of turning Colorado into a predator paradise.
And let’s not forget: we’ve seen this movie before—it’s called the “Wolf Reintroduction Shitshow.” Boulder and Denver lefties loved the idea of bringing wolves back to Colorado. They voted it in, despite being as far away from ranch country as humanly possible. Now, out west, wolves are living the dream—chowing down on cattle like they’re at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Ranchers are watching their herds get shredded, all so Boulderites can pat themselves on the back and brag about how much they love wildlife from afar. And now, these same people think banning the hunting of mountain lions, lynxes, and bobcats is the next great idea? Fuck that.
The urbanites who back this nonsense think wildlife management is about feelings—not science. They don’t give a damn about the consequences because they don’t have to live with them. They’ll never be the ones dealing with the fallout when predators overpopulate and start wandering into neighborhoods. No, that’s going to be the ranchers, hunters, and rural communities—the same people these Boulder leftists always manage to screw over.
Here’s the cold truth: wildlife management isn’t a Hallmark movie. It’s about balance—regulating predator and prey populations to maintain healthy ecosystems. Hunting isn’t some barbaric relic of the past; it’s an essential tool. And the CPW commissioners who know this are being strong-armed into silence. You think those speaking out against this idiotic proposal don’t know what’s up? Of course, they do—but they also know the governor’s office is watching. One wrong word, and boom—you’re out of a job. Polis won’t think twice about swapping out wildlife experts for people who’ll do Marlin’s bidding. And that, right there, is the real tragedy.
CPW should be full of experts making decisions based on data, not fear. But instead, we’ve got commissioners caught in a political pissing match, afraid to speak the truth. They know damn well that unchecked predator populations lead to chaos. They’ve seen it happen before, and they’ll see it again if this proposal passes. But the moment they say so? Goodbye, career. This is governance by fear, not science—and it’s a slap in the face to every Coloradoan who relies on CPW to do its job.
The irony is almost too much. Boulder elites are so concerned about protecting predators—until one of them slinks into their backyard. Oh, you’ll see the narrative change real quick the moment a bobcat takes out someone’s hypoallergenic designer dog in Cherry Creek. But until then, the ranchers and rural folks will be left holding the bag. Same shit, different day.
In the end, Prop 127 isn’t about conservation—it’s about virtue signaling. It’s about people like Marlin Reis wanting to feel good about themselves while ignoring the reality of life outside the Boulder bubble. They’ll push these policies, pat themselves on the back, and leave everyone else to deal with the fallout. Meanwhile, CPW, the very agency that’s supposed to protect the delicate balance of Colorado’s ecosystems, is being used as a pawn in this game of political chess.
If Marlin and his Boulder buddies want to play conservationists, fine. But they shouldn’t get to dictate policy for the rest of us, especially when the people who actually know what the hell they’re talking about are being silenced. Colorado deserves better than this bullshit. It’s time for CPW to stop being a puppet for the governor’s office and start doing what it was designed to do: manage wildlife based on science, not politics.
Because if we keep letting clueless elites run the show, it’s not just our wildlife that will suffer—it’s the people too. And when the predators come knocking, don’t say we didn’t warn you.
